I know of a man who may just hold the key to their survival. JAMES BOND THEME MUSIC Imitating Sean Connery A laboratory at a secret location. This man, who we’ll call Irek Malecki, is perfecting the science of ratite artificial insemination. Oh. Chuckles Music stops Emu farming is big business, and Irek’s mission is to improve farmed emu stocks. I introduce you to my trained emus. Using his trained emus, Irek, somewhat misguidedly, I think, is going to train me as an emu artificial inseminator. Beginning by teaching me how to get close to an emu.
Starting with the gentler sex. Do you know how to grunt The male grunts. If you grunt. So if I grunt I go. Both grunt Both continue grunting Whoaho! Did you see that Yeah. Hahaha. Missed me. I’ve met gals like this before, and I know how to treat ’em. Get out of this cage as quick as you can. William grunts Now thoroughly terrified, I eventually subdue her. IREK There she is for you. William grunts Well, that’s incredible. Now, collecting semen from a male. Using this. The artificial cloaca Irek’s revolutionary technique.
When birds mate, their two cloaca contact. And so you make something that simulates. Make something that’s similar to the female cloaca. A cloaca. It sounds like a suburb, doesn’t it Chuckles I’m going to build my house in Cloaca. Well, be careful because you will live between the reproductive and the digestive output so. Mate, I’ve lived in places like that, believe me. Having seen the female at work. I’ve seen them things kick like Tony Lockett..I now have to deal with the males. Irek does nothing to calm my fears.
Emu AI and collection Hello Birdy Episode 2
Come on your knees and put your hood on because when they. grab you, they will grab you by the neck, and they. you may bleed. So this is important protection. Just cover your ears and cover your neck. Right. So we go to the bird. Please. Thank you, my liege. Cheers to you. See the. Yes. G’day, mate. That’s the male we call Blue. As you can see, he is very, very approachable and he’s actually approaching you and started pecking you. Already. Which indicates that he’s very interested. Holy.
You should squat now, about now. I should squat Yes, please squat, and then he will squat, too. Laughing God! This is a bit. freaky. Right. And when do I. Do I rub his. Use your right hand, you rub his belly there. Yes. You can see his vent No. No Oh, yeah. Yes. And put it on. Yes! Chuckles You missed it. I missed it Yes, you missed it. Just find it. God alfriggin’mighty! Laughs He’s. Here’s to ya. L’chaim! Laughing Holy Moses! That is not something you do every day.
Thanks, Blue! That is bizarre. Can you use that No. Why not Because you didn’t collect. He ejaculated underneath that, and then when I said you missed it, then you put it back correctly, but there was not much left there. So you’ve just gotta have elan. Irek kindly tells me it’s taken years to train his emus, and sometimes even he resorts to a secret weapon. A raincoat. Yes. A raincoat. The yellow raincoat has worked wonders. Irek is a master at this. You can see that when he comes to this,.
He is the Bradman of the cloaca. He’s a magician with the left hand. He hasn’t started pecking yet. Wow. It’s like. Oh, there he goes. Wow, he’s grabbing it and he won’t let go! He is just. He’s finished. Well done. William applauds It’s amazing. He’s obviously got such a way with them. And in a way, why wouldn’t he Because this is Irek’s life’s work, you know, and he’s made the study of these birds his own, and he’s built up this great portfolio of knowledge. Imagine if Irek’s groundbreaking artificial cloaca.