Tell me how to know if you’re pregnant withouta pregnancy test. Labor is a pretty sure sign. I mean before that, really before that. If you look like you have a beer belly andyou don’t drink beer, that’s a pretty good sign. I’ve heard weight gain is a good sign ofpregnancy. You’re eating for one point one people,not two, so you shouldn’t gain more than thirty pounds by the ninth month. However,if your breasts start growing, that’s a
likely sign. How much do they grow? They’ll grow around one cup size plus anothercup while you’re nursing. Consider it nature’s free boob job. But you get all out of shape in other ways. Some women maintain a tight figure after pregnancyby not pigging out, but you do tend to see the hips widen. I’ve heard of that and widening feet.
But that’s going to hit around the thirdtrimester, whereas you’ll feel like a preteen with chest pain the first trimester as thebreasts start growing. What about morning sickness? If the sight of steak or smell of fish suddenlymake you ill, and you didn’t watch too many PETA tutorials, then it can be a sign of pregnancy. I’ve had nausea. Not all women who are pregnant get morningsickness, and many of them simply have nausea with occasional vomiting. It is the rare chickwho throws up every day for days on end.
That’s a heck of a stomach bug. Except it isn’t over for nine months, thoughyou do get a cute little baby at the end. How else can you know you are pregnant withouta pregnancy test? Do sonograms count? That’s even more expensive than a pregnancytest. Many people know they are pregnant by thefact that their period has not come. Some women spot. Some women spot when the embryo implants,and some spot for one or more cycles after
it implants, though if they get a whole rushof blood, it is a miscarriage. What do you think I should do? If you think you’re pregnant, schedule anappointment with the to confirm you are pregnant and start prenatal vitamins. I’ve heard they could tell you’re pregnantjust from the natural glow. That’s the oily skin â€“ but you cannotuse that as a sign because too many people think fresh and dewy skin is a sign of beautyand a step up from a regular tan. Fine, I’ll ask an actual insteadof my friends, though the bill alone may make
Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy
Oh, oh God, is thatsweat or am I peeing? (instrumental piano music) Oh my God, I’m turninginto a freakin’ werewolf. Oh, babe come quickly,baby’s kicking, come here. Man Really? Don’t come in, don’t, go away, it’s gas. Woman Ugh, more discharge,where is it coming from? Is that my mucous plug?
How am I supposed to groomthis if I can’t even see it? I’m gonna grow it out, we’re gonna go full jungle. So, I was gonna make pancakes and then I went to go get, what’s that flippy thing? Oh God, my brain. Do I smell apples?
I have one in my bag allthe way in the kitchen. Wow, my sense of smell is awesome. I have to pee. Just a little rest, just for a second. (sighing) Would youlike some scrambled eggs, are you hungry?
Yeah, yes, hungry, I’m so hungry. Scrambled eggs? Yeah. Scrambled eggs? (moaning in disgust) Why are you making the bed? We’re just gonna mess it up. Oh, I don’t wanna, baby.
Oh my God, I’m shvitzing. (drops pen) Oh. Man Oh my God. Hold on. Are you okay? Is everything alright? Want me to call someone? No, it’s fine, it’s just Braxton Hicks.
(groaning) This pregnancy’s goingto give me a heart attack. What about me? I’m the pregnant one. You’re so selfish. No, no, no, we gottaget some cocoa butter. Oh, I can’t do it, oh my God. What am I, a fucking hobbit now?