Oh, oh God, is thatsweat or am I peeing? (instrumental piano music) Oh my God, I’m turninginto a freakin’ werewolf. Oh, babe come quickly,baby’s kicking, come here. [Man] Really? Don’t come in, don’t, go away, it’s gas. [Woman] Ugh, more discharge,where is it coming from? Is that my mucous plug?
How am I supposed to groomthis if I can’t even see it? I’m gonna grow it out, we’re gonna go full jungle. So, I was gonna make pancakes and then I went to go get, what’s that flippy thing? Oh God, my brain. Do I smell apples?
I have one in my bag allthe way in the kitchen. Wow, my sense of smell is awesome. I have to pee. Just a little rest, just for a second. (sighing) Would youlike some scrambled eggs, are you hungry?
Yeah, yes, hungry, I’m so hungry. Scrambled eggs? Yeah. Scrambled eggs? (moaning in disgust) Why are you making the bed? We’re just gonna mess it up. Oh, I don’t wanna, baby.
Oh my God, I’m shvitzing. (drops pen) Oh. [Man] Oh my God. Hold on. Are you okay? Is everything alright? Want me to call someone? No, it’s fine, it’s just Braxton Hicks.
(groaning) This pregnancy’s goingto give me a heart attack. What about me? I’m the pregnant one. You’re so selfish. No, no, no, we gottaget some cocoa butter. Oh, I can’t do it, oh my God. What am I, a fucking hobbit now?
How Do I Know How Far Along My Pregnancy Is
How do I know how far along my pregnancy is? When did you have your last period? My asked me that, but I don’t thinkit is right. They measure the pregnancy duration basedon when the last period was, because that’s a certain marker. Though you might be unsureif there was spotting from implantation or light bleeding when the next period mighthave been. Or brown discharge in what might have beenearly on. This is why s do ultrasounds early on.It tells them how far along you are and gives
indications of possible problems. He’s already measured my stomach size. That could be off if you are pregnant withtwins, dehydrated or gaining extra weight. The ultrasound is a sure measure. How so? They can use it to measure the size of thebaby. I think it is the size of a grape right now. Fetal development is standard in all pregnanciesexcept for differences in length in the final
trimester. They are all the same size in thefirst weeks, and measuring that tells him how many weeks along you are. The baby’s development could be off. While a baby might grow faster or slower thanpeers or eat like a piglet, limb buds versus finger buds is a standard development pattern.Rump to crown measurements, too, have a direct correlation to weeks of development. Then my weight gain is irrelevant. You could gain 30 pounds and not be pregnant,or you could lose weight due to morning sickness.
Weight gain in pregnancy has guidelines butit isn’t an accurate measure of how far along you are. How do they decide when you are too far along? When the pregnancy passes the 40 week mark,they start thinking of inducing. They don’t let pregnancies last past the 42 week mark. I saw a horror show about stone babies. Those are pregnancies that failed and calcified,but that is on the medical oddities shows because it is so rare.
It is a horror, because I don’t know ifI could stand months of this, much less years..